My Heart Belongs to Daddy

Maybe I am just sentimental tonight... But I had a great date night tonight with my dad. I took my dad out on a date tonight for Father's Day to the Playboy Jazz Festival at the Hollywood Bowl. I don't even know if he is a jazz fan, but he was crazy jazzed up about spending time with his daughter. I planned out a night for just the two of us and it was magical. People, if there is one thing that I have learned over the years, it's to appreciate your parents while they are still with you. I asked my dad questions (while slightly inebriated) that I have never asked him before: How did you propose to Mom? Was it a huge culture shock for you to move from a small town to the big city of L.A. when you were young? He is 74--almost 75 this year, and the youngest 74/75 year old you'll ever meet. Ask these questions now--while they are still with you.

My dad has been my biggest cheerleader in all my life--he's been to every soccer game (unless he was refereeing at a different field), been to every play that I have been in, and up for each year for teenage girl crazy slumber parties--he ALWAYS the loudest one cheering on the sidelines for every event... I want to marry a man like my dad. A man who can't wait to have a date night with his daughter, a man who can't wait to see what kind of person I become. I guess that is what any father can hope for: a man who loves his daughter (faults and all) and only delights in her and thinks she is the most beautiful person in the world.

If At First You Don't Succeed...

Okay... So after a four year hiatus on blogging about the dating scene, I have decided to pick it back up again... My apologies to my seven followers who haven't heard from me in quite some time--I hope there was no breath being held. So the recap: I took a little "break" from blogging and dating and then WHAM! just like people say--you find love when you least expect it. I found what I thought was love and well, stopped writing... For almost four years. (I can blog about the Non-Committer later.) I can't help it now--the stories, adventures and mishaps of dating today are just too funny, too ridiculous, and too much of a slap in the face not to share with others. Some of these stories you will shake your head and think, "What was she thinking???" and others you will laugh your ass off. I hope to give other singles somewhat of insight into dating/relationships--or at the very least I hope someone can avoid some major pitfalls. I have been happily back on the market for the past several months and between my experiences and those of my friends, I am back with even better material (and pictures)... Stay tuned...

Prayer for a Husband

I don't know who wrote this, but my awesome roommate sent this to me and I thought that I would share it!

-Michele


Prayer for a Husband

Lord God, Your Word declares that if I delight myself in you--if I enjoy You and seek Your pleasure above mine--You will give me the desires of my heart (Ps. 37:4). Desiring a husband is neither evil nor selfish because marriage is honorable (Heb. 13:4).

At the beginning of creation you proclaimed, "It is not good that man should be alone" and then you created Eve to be a suitable partner for Adam (Gen. 2:18). In the name of Jesus, I ask that You would release the husband--a suitable partner--You have chosen for me. Because the covenant of marriage is sacred (Mark 10:9), I ask for a man of God. Please give me a husband whose love for me is outmatched only by his love for You. A man who will cherish me and build me up (Prov. 31:28). A man who will honor me (1 Peter 3:7) and our marriage vows. A man who is a good father and provider. A man whom I will be attracted to physically, emotionally, and
spiritually. A man who will love me as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25).

Restrain me from attaching myself to another man out of desperation. I will not settle for a relationship that is second best, convenient, or one that feeds my insecurities. Guard my purity,and give me the patience to wait. And when I meet him, confirm to me that he is the one.

Release from me the baggage of past relationships, and prepare me for the man You have chosen to be my husband. Free me from any hindrances to a healthy and godly marriage: insecurities,habitual sins, selfishness, emotional hurts. Dispel my unrealistic expectations that set me up for disappointment. I place my trust in You rather than my partner.

In this period of waiting I will look to You to be my companion and best friend. You are the One who redeems my life from the pit, who crowns me with love and compassion, who satisfies my desires with good things (Ps. 103:4-5 NIV). I will not be anxious, but as I present my requests to You, flood me with the peace that surpasses all understanding so my heart and my mind are guarded.

In this request, I commit myself to trust You and do good, to dwell in the land and feed on Your faithfulness. I commit my way to You and trust that You will bring it to pass (Ps. 37:3-5).

Closed For Remodeling

What do you do when God is quiet?

So I'm officially burnt out, turned off and tired of dating. I was thinking this morning about how quiet God feels to me right now. As I gazed out the window of my kitchen, my eyes fell upon a housewarming candle I got from a friend. "..In the quiet moments, trust God..." the candle reads.

I am reminded time and time again in scripture that even when we cannot see God at work, He is. When He doesn't seem present, He is. I am taking time to trust God and kick back on the dating scene.

The past two weeks I started really focusing on myself heath-wise and I have lost 5lbs...and counting. I want to renew my body and mind during this time. So for now, the dating store is temporarily closed. Still taking appointments for Faith and Hope, so keep reading...

Dating University: Online Dating

As I am an avid online dater, many friends ask about the differences between online dating sites. We all know people who have found luck and love on many different sites. Sigh* Dating in 21st century is never like before. I remember meeting a girl in college who met her husband in a chat room and thinking "OMG! Is she desperate? There are so many weirdos out there!!!" (Actually, "OMG" had not even been invented yet because there was no text messaging in college. I had a pager.)

Some of the most popular sites are match.com and Eharmony. I have done both, plus a few others. What I found was A) You get what you pay for and B) Dating is in the eye of the beholder.

For free sites, I found that you meet people who either want a hook up or are so burnt out on the dating scene that they couldn't meet the right person if Ms. Right bit them in the butt. My theory is: if a guy is willing to invest in a good dating site, he is willing to invest in a relationship. (As a beginning factor.)

For Match and Eharmony, I feel like it is a difference between shopping at say, Ross and shopping at a Westlake boutique. In a Westlake boutique, it's expensive and really nice, but oftentimes limited in merchandise. So much like Eharmony, you get limited matches and often limited in what you are looking for... so thank you, come again. (I am not currently on Eharmony but have met wonderful men through this.)

As for Ross, (aka Match.com) it truly comes down to this: Match has a LOT of men, but you have to search through a LOT of crap to find what you are looking for. There are so many men out there looking to just get laid--to put it bluntly... If you are looking for marriage you need to seek out those marriage-minded people who you can actually have fun with.

Rejoice ALWAYS!

It's easy for me to get caught up on Facebook, looking at all my friends from college and viewing pictures of their happy families, adoring husbands, and fat, giggling babies. An unhappy green-eyed monster wells up inside and asks "why don't I have that?"

My bible study group was reading Philippians 4:4-6 last night and it was a good reality check for me: "Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS, again I say rejoice!...The Lord is near." I felt ashamed. Even though I don't have exactly what I want when I want it, I am doing God a disservice. I am to REJOICE ALWAYS!

I was surprised recently to learn that some of my married friends admittedly struggle with having joy in their lives. My first thought was "Why?" They had wonderful husbands and adorable kids, roof over their head... They had EVERY reason to rejoice. Or so I thought. I started to look at my own life and realize that I needed to put things in perspective.

I don't want to be an unhappy person who is waiting for the right man to make me happy. I want a joyful journey with my Jesus, not a discontented journey until someone makes me feel good. I want my future husband to know that he has married a JOYFUL woman who knows how blessed she is with the big and the small things in life. There is much in my life to feel joyful, thankful and blessed about. The Bible calls us to rejoice in the LORD. What am I joyful about today?

The tasty coffee this morning.

I got to hang out with my fabulous new roommates who I seem to click with super well. (God totally brought me the best roommates ever.)

Volunteers who work in my office--they do things and don't even get paid!!!

I connected randomly with a girl from Craigslist buying my desk--turns out, she was a Christian from a church I have been seeking out.

The glass of wine after work...a joyful end to a joyful day. :)

Location, Location, Location!!!

I recently bought my first place. When I started the house shopping process, I had no idea how long it would take. I was in no rush, but eager to begin this new chapter of my life. I found that every homeowner I spoke to had their own specific list of the "must haves" when house shopping. I began to relate this (duh) to my dating life and my own personal list. When shopping for a partner, what are the "must haves" and what are the things you are willing to drop the price on?

At first, I looked at homes. But looking at my pay stub (I work for a non-profit) and the amount of effort it would take to make a house a home, I soon realized that a house's potential was far too much energy that I wanted to put in. So, I had to renegotiate my list and decided that it wasn't so much as what, but where. I have always said that the most important #1 item on the list is "Christian, Christian, Christian!!!" It's easy for me to lose sight of this when I see what is on the market. He's Christian, but no ambition, Christian but SO not ready to commit, Christian but has major anger issues... once one sees what is on the market, one can be easily persuaded against investing.

Without realizing it, my list had changed. I went out with a guy several times last month with a great heart, clear goals and ambitions, but no love for Jesus. (This abruptly ended with the abstinence conversation though.) I had to remind myself that God not only cared about the perfect house for me, but that He also cares about who I make a home with.

It took one month short of a year before I found the right townhouse. So it's not a house, it has no backyard, and I can spit on my neighbor's balcony. But it's beautiful, has a washer and dryer, and room for a family one day--and in the perfect location that I wanted. Better still, it didn't need to be fixed up. (That is a whole other sermon in itself!) I viewed and even put offers on several places in this very same complex, but none were quite right. Once I gave up and told Him I am blessed no matter what, He orchestrated the right deal at the perfect time--and better than I had imagined.